What fun

i thought i was casting off illusion when i left christianity, and indeed i was, but it would seem that i left one veiled world for another

i am told that the mind is itself a veil, constantly filtering a cacophony of inputs into a disorderly stack of papers – and so i will exist always inside of a veil which i semi-consciously co-create, coming up for air in altered moments or else devoting my entire life to the practice of veillessness and living in a state of abstract curiosity

just as a sculptor removes material in accordance with an intention, thereby imbuing the remaining material with a kind of meaning;
i ignore information in accordance with a paradigm, thereby experiencing myself as an individual actor

i arrogate my own personhood
co-arrogate, more like;
collective delusion
only it’s adaptive, considered healthy, and so
we reserve that label: delusion
for personhoods which would seem to threaten ours

and so i am as a bird ever optimizing its cage
but i am a co-creator god, they say
“spirit immersed in matter”, they say
what fun, to toss these words around